Venting sucks.

Sigh. Sigh, Sigh. 

I'm done with finals. I think I failed all of them, but I could care two shits about it now. I'm done being a freshman. Really pissed Sam got a higher grade than me and Justine, but whatever I'll curse him out. Fucking didn't even say Happy Birthday to me while most of us spent like $40 on his fucking birthday.

ohhhh and about a HAPPY BIRTHDAY?

It was the shittiest birthday ever. Sure I loved having my cousins over and eating an Penang (good ass food) cause I barely see them and I had really good laughs with the TripleThreat and Mickey. But yeah, my birthday sucked. So let's rant about all the fucking shit that I was pissed at. Hmmm lets start with My dad fucking forgot my birthday and his own mother remembered. The beginning of my birthday I was fighting with James and I started crying. My aunt made me cry about my mom's disease. I woke up with the biggest headache. Need I remind everyone that I had a fucking Chemistry II final to study for. I had the biggest craving for garlic knots and no fucking pizza place in hoboken had it cause Filipo's was closed. 

but there's one thing that I got so depressed about was this: Alright, I don't want to be so selfish but honestly a birthday is one time a person is supposed to feel so god damn special right? So I didn't have a cake. Chetna, James, and I bought cupcakes to make myself feel better. No surprises at all cause they put candles on it while I was in the bathroom. I had to make the CRUMBS people sing me happy birthday when we bought the cupcakes. Sure I know its finals and people had to study. I just wanted something you know. I don't want to be greedy and stubborn about it but it was the ONE DAY I wanted everything to be me. BUT NO. While all the times I would buy people ice cream cake or maybe think of a good present, NADA. Like honestly, this was honestly the worst birthdays of my life. I was tired of crying the whole day cause I felt like shit cause James didn't get to go home on Mother's Day cause I was being greedy and made him stay on the phone with me and he didn't wake up to his alarm. 

It's only been like a day since my birthday and people are already mentioning their birthday and all this BIG SURPRISES or DO SOMETHING. I love to celebrate your birthdays (dont get me wrong cause I love making people smile on their birthdays and I love planning). I don't ask for much honestly. I'm a genuinely nice person and I never say no. But all I wanted was a little appreciation just cause I was a good friend. I don't know. I felt bad cause James thinks its all his fault for not giving me a good birthday so today he took me to the music room in Howe and gave me a little saxophone concert. 

On the day of my birthday, I was telling James and Chetna how upset I was that nothing spontaneous happened on my birthday and they were like "Come on, Birthdays dont end until you say so."So people have their birthday week, I end my week 5 days short. Fuck this shit. I'm done with it. I hated it. I kinda reminded me of how my friends back in the day threw me a party but they only did it to drink. It was that feeling with more depression.

Just forget it. Thanks for reading my rant but that's been in my head. and Thanks to all who said Happy Birthday ;).