Asia Cruz - Long Distance Relationship

"...so it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but i want to do that because i want you. i want all of you everyday, forever." -The Notebook

I can't say that my whole relationship with him has been a train wreck cause it hasn't. It has been the most incredible thing I've ever been a part of in my life: to be in love with him. So the answer was said:

"before i didn't want to put you on hold because
i didn't want to lose you, but this time i have to"

I could wait, I guess. I promised him I would. We're not allowed to talk or see each other anymore. I'm not single or broken up with him. We're still fully committed but it's really going to be tough. Not seeing him, getting jealous of every other couple who gets to see each other, the memories of him. It's hard and its getting hard because it's summer and I can't do anything but sit here and wait. He told me I shouldn't wait for a phone call anymore because it's not guaranteed that we'd be sleeping on the phone at night.

This is more than a simple long distance relationship because I can't have one single contact with him. No webcam, no IMs, no phone calls, no talks, no visits, no nothing. It's going to take months maybe years until I get to be in his arms again. Talking to Walker helped just a tad bit. I got to be strong for this or else it won't work. I need to stop worrying about him and start caring about myself.

I just really miss him. To the point where I'm crying and I'm not even noticing. He's the most incredbile guy out there. I just wish everything was smooth before we put our relationship on pause mode. I promised myself after my relationship with Marc that I wouldn't date anyone else because my broken heart couldn't take it anymore, but I took that risk to date James. To like him and then fall in love with him. I love him and thats the end.

pinky promise.